My Dad's Tall Tales

Long before my sister and I were born both of our parents were in the police force.  During the time my Dad was in the police force he experienced a variety of weird, sometimes funny and sometimes gruesome encounters with his colleagues and the public he was sworn to protect. Most of these he experienced firsthand but others he gathered from colleagues he knew at his home station and others he met on training courses.
No matter how incredible you find any of these tales please remember, these are true encounters of policemen and women in the 1970s. The names of all the people and locations have been changed to protect the victims and the perpetrators of crime. If you recognise yourself and you are offended, don't tell anyone else, it's probably because you are portrayed as a criminal or that you have done something daft, or both. These are stories to entertain you, not offend you. Reader discretion is advised.